Are engagement necklaces so crazy? 99 people can’t be wrong
Diamonds don’t always need to be in an engagement ring. Via Flickr user Ultima_Bruce.
When I wrote in February about how I would prefer an engagement necklace to a ring — though I don’t care about receiving any jewelery at that moment in my life — people reacted as you may imagine.
“It’s tradition to wear a ring.”
“What are you going to tell people if you’re engaged and they ask where is the ring?”
“Don’t you want men to stop flirting with you?”
I have answers to all these questions (Tradition isn’t an excuse to keep doing something, I don’t care if people are flummoxed by my lack of jewelry, and I don’t like the idea that men will apparently only leave me alone if I’m “taken.”) But I’m not using this blog post to talk about all that. I want to speak about the other people who are thinking along the same vein as me.
I don’t think I’ve had a single person verbally agree with that blog post about engagement necklaces. Weirdly enough, it’s been one of the most controversial topics I’ve ventured upon. (The possibility of fecal matter in our meat didn’t have nearly the same grab.)
But I know there are other people who have thought of engagement necklaces — it has been by far my most popular post, accounting for almost one out of every 10 pageviews on my blog. People are searching “engagement necklace” on Google and ending up at my blog post (the fourth result).
In fact, 99 people have landed on the post in question because of searching “engagement necklace” or something similar such as “engagement neckelace” (spelling isn’t everyone’s strong suit.)
About 100 people is not an astounding figure, but it’s significant in that others are thinking of engagement necklaces. It can’t be such a strange or novel idea if there are so many other people looking for an alternative to rings.
I would like to ask these people why they are searching for a necklace instead. Trying to buck tradition? Don’t like rings? If you’re reading this, Google stumblers, let me know your thoughts.
And in answer to one Google search term that led to my blog — “are there engagement necklaces” — I’ve listed the top five search results for “engagement necklace.”
- An Etsy shop selling an engagement necklace that is basically a personalized dog tag
- A five-year-old Yahoo! Answers discussion about engagement necklaces. The answers aren’t encouraging to those in my line of thinking.
- A Pinterest board called “Engagement Necklace” that is full of photos of rings. Maybe this person doesn’t understand the difference between a ring and a necklace.
- My blog post
- An online store selling cheap-looking necklace pendants such as one with the couple’s initials and another that reads “goddaughter of the bride.” Seems useful.
Wedding retailers, there seems to be a vacuum in the market for classy, expensive engagement necklaces. I would jump on that once you’re done with the tiered cupcake trend.
Adina's Musings 
This is a bit old but I’m one of those google stumblers. I wanted to see if my idea was too crazy and if anything could sway me back to a ring.
My reasons for considering a necklace:
1. Rings annoy me. Class ring, had to have it. Worn a couple of times. Promise ring from teenage boyfriend. “Aww so sweet” Wound up on a chain around my neck. I would like to try a simple gold wedding band though. Found one for $67 so it’s not too much of a loss if it winds up around my neck or something.
2. We looked around for rings that I liked in a certain price point. It sounds bad but I couldn’t find one. I saw a lot of pretty ones but nothing that I just had to have. I couldn’t fathom buying a ring that I didn’t really like just because I’m supposed to have one. I still feel bad for typing that one out. It really isn’t me being bummed about not being able to afford the Krupps diamond or anything like that. We considered getting a ring that I could show to people when they asked and to wear on special occasions. Again, why spend the money on that? And the “special occasions” thing got me thinking..
3. I’ve always wanted a pearl necklace. I’ve bought cheap fake $20 whatevers but I’ve always wanted a nice one. Why couldn’t I get one of those? I looked around and for the price that would go towards a “meh” ring, would buy a 18inch Akoya cultured pearl, knotted, and strung on silk apparently (ooohh fancy!) Tiffany’s necklace. Cultured so not the most expensive pearls out there but still a billion times better that what I’ve ever had. Of course you’re paying for the Tiffany’s name and there are cheaper out there. It’s just an example of where my mind is going. It would be something I’d wear on “special occasions” So it would get just as much wear as the ring would and its something I’ve always wanted…
I found a pretty cool Mikimoto black pearl pendant necklace. Similar price. I’m thinking I could make that fit with my regular every day wardrobe.
So glad you made your way to my blog! People brought up the whole “wear a ring on a necklace” thing to me too, but I didn’t understand the point of that. Why get a ring at all if I’m going to wear it as a necklace? Why not just get a necklace? When it comes to matrimony, people are too fixated on rings.
At one point, I saw a nice idea for people who aren’t interested in engagement jewelry: Buy a nice piece of artwork with your betrothed that you can display in your home together. That way, it’s not only beautiful and something you treasure, but a constant reminder of your relationship/commitment (which I assume is one of the reasons for wearing a ring).
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I was also brought here by Google. Ever since same sex marriage was legalized, my partner and I have thought about taking the plunge into marriage, but I never was able to wear rings. I’d wear them for a day and lose them. But I always liked sapphires and emeralds and thought they were beautiful. We’ve been thinking of getting matching necklaces instead.
Matching necklaces sound like an idea. I had never thought about the other person wearing something too. I wonder: Has the market for engagement necklaces expanded since I wrote this post?
In the end when I got engaged, my fiance and I decided to skip all jewelry — no engagement ring or wedding bands.
Ok, so although I obviously agree with you (otherwise I wouldn’t be here), I do feel like I have to point out that rings are traditional because they have no beginning and no end and are therefore a symbol of eternity. It is not arbitrary. Any circle or continuous form (like the figure 8/infinity) symbol holds the same meaning. Ancient Egyptians chose the ‘ring finger’ because supposedly it has a vein which goes directly to the heart. However… a necklace is continuous, and hangs directly over the heart. Right?
Anyway, I’m not a ring wearer. Especially not chunky rings with stones set in that always manage to get caught on everything! I am also majorly against diamonds, but that’s another story. So when my partner and I started talking about marriage we agreed my birthstone as a pendant would be great. It is garnet & has associations of love & guidance so seemed fitting. I wanted something cheap – not low quality, but inexpensive.
The Jewish tradition of wedding rings was to have a simple gold ring – to represent a love that was pure & free of complication, and also avoiding lavishness and extravagance to show that greed was not fuelling the decision to be married. I’m up for keeping the spirit of the tradition, but it has to fit in with my practical life and with my personal taste.
I think, each to their own, of course if you like engagement rings, but I definitely wouldn’t want to spend a fortune on an item of jewellery just so that I could keep others happy by showing it to them the one and only time they’ll ever ask to see it.
True. A ring makes some sense because it’s a circle, but then again, so is a necklace or a bracelet. Since I wrote this post a few years ago, I got engaged and married, and we decided to forgo all engagement and wedding jewelry. (I also totally agree with you about diamonds, but I definitely couldn’t go the birthstone route because mine is, ironically, diamonds.) When we first got engaged, that decision to not have a ring attracted some confused looks, but people don’t seem to notice once you’re married. They stopped looking for a ring on my finger. Now, I get more questions about keeping my last name.
Glad you found something that works for you.